I climb into my tent feeling like an old man missing out on some quality drunkenness, get comfy, lay my head down on my makeshift pillow (a stuff sack stuffed with clothes and surrounded by a fleece,) and........chic-sh-chic-sh-chic-sh!
Something is scurrying around the tent floor near my head. Farts and thank yous are coming from the other tent, uncontrollable laughing and jokes fling tent to tent too, but this is serious! Some fucking nasty-ass-something has crawled Into my pillow and will probably burrow into my ear, and all I can get from the other tent is a laugh and a "loud and proud" one.
Somethings got to be done! I punch at my pillow, press down hard on every soft surface, hoping for my first kill of the trip, and finally silence comes to camp. No funeral, no remorse, no scurrying or odorous emissions, nothing. Sleep begins, only, its sleep with the knowledge that insect carcass now provides my comfort.
Five minutes later that little fucker is scurrying around again. Head lamp to forehead I tore everything in sight apart in that tent, and there he was, looking at me, I can't read facial expressions of insects, so who knows what he was thinking, this beetle the size of a pack of big red.
Gone. Scared to use my hand the gauntlet of the fist through sleeping bag method came down on his ass and finally put an end to the uninvited squatter.